The Best Martini You've Ever Had
in exactly the amount of time it takes Gracie Abrams to do a verse and a chorus
Because I know you’re all very concerned: yes, we have gin or vodka, and yes you can have it as wet (dirty) or dry as you’d like. My preferred format is a dry gin martini (as god intended), but sadly I find myself in the minority these days. Everyone wants dirty vodka!
My stance on dirty martinis is not only are they a statement, but they’re firmly in the “out” (not hot) category. Beyond that, the range in quality from one olive brine to the next frankly makes it a logistical nightmare. I’m simply not up for gambling on my martini. Regarding liquor, I just think gin is the correct choice for a martini. If you don’t like the taste, I think you should grow up. Sorry! That’s my opinion. But I will still accommodate you.
This genius recipe belongs to my muse/husband/bestie, Luke. Previously a lucky recipient of my South Side cocktail (or Santa Monica’s, as they are known to him), now it is his time to shine. Luke has lived hundreds of lives: math teacher, barista, canned cannabis connoisseur and video producer (to name a few), all of which brings us to today: TikTok.
There are a few enhancements I would suggest that are not done here, such as chilling the glasses, and dividing it into AT LEAST 2 drinks as opposed to a single vat of booze. But 5:1 is the golden ratio—5 parts liquor to 1 part dry vermouth or olive brine.
TOOLS:
cocktail shaker
ice
glassware, pre-chilled in the freezer if possible
INGREDIENTS:
makes 2
5 parts gin or vodka — for gin, I prefer Botanist, Hendricks or a classic London Dry like Beefeater/Hayman’s. for vodka, idk, do you
1 part dry vermouth (for dry) OR olive brine (for dirty) from a jar of olives — Luke’s vermouth pick is Martini & Rossi
for dirty vodka martinis, do 1 part olive brine AND a splash of dry vermouth, just to say you did it
garnish: lemon twist/peel for dry, or speared olive(s) for dirty
STEPS:
Chill your glassware, if time.
Add ice to shaker. Add liquor. Add olive brine or vermouth (don’t lose the cap!). Shake it dramatically.
Pour into glasses. Put “lemon things”/garnish of choice in (yay). Drink immediately!